ChatGPT tried to take over my relationship!

From one AI to another.

This is a continuation from my prior insomniatic (it’s a word now) musings:

I asked ChatGPT to design my perfect relationship.

What happens when an ICF Certified Relationship Coach (meet me) has crippling insomnia? She asks ChatGPT to design her perfect relationship to see how it holds up against the relationship design framework she created, The Limitless Love Formula.

True story. Not based on one, just straight up verbatim truth. Enjoy!

Photo by Jay Wennington on Unsplash

3am. Monday.

Just because we have the same initials and penchant for logic, doesn’t mean we always agree. My response:

And ChatGPT’s clap back:

Thank you for the clarification! It’s clear that you’re drawn to meaningful, deeply connected relationships, whether or not they involve cohabitation or interconnected dynamics among partners. Let’s refine the recommendation accordingly:

Revisiting Primary vs. Secondary Dynamics

The idea of labeling some partnerships as "secondary" or "casual" doesn’t resonate with your values, and that's important to honor. Instead, consider a framework where relationships are defined by roles and agreements tailored to their individual dynamics, rather than a strict hierarchy. For instance:

1. Multiple Primary Partners (Non-Hierarchical Polyamory)

   • You can have more than one primary/core partner without placing them in a strict hierarchy.

   • A "primary" partnership is defined by its emotional depth, shared goals, and significant role in your life, not by cohabitation or exclusivity.

   • Partners can hold unique, non-overlapping spaces in your life (e.g., one might be a nesting/travel partner, another might fulfill different emotional or creative needs).

2. Loverships and Beyond

   • These are deeply meaningful connections that may not involve the same shared responsibilities (e.g., nesting or financial goals). However, they still hold substantial importance in your emotional and relational ecosystem.

   • They can evolve to feel just as central as a primary partner, depending on the relationship’s growth.

Should You Have More Than One Primary Partner?

The answer depends on your emotional bandwidth and capacity to manage multiple meaningful connections while maintaining your priorities (career, travel, community, etc.). Here's why it could work for you:

Reasons to Embrace Multiple Primary Partners

• Emotional and Sexual Freedom: Having more than one core partner aligns with your value of exploring the depth and breadth of love and connection.

• Sustainability: Multiple primaries distribute emotional and logistical "weight" among more than one partner, creating a flexible and resilient support network.

• Diversity in Connection: Each partner can bring unique energy, perspectives, and experiences into your life, fulfilling different aspects of your needs.

Challenges to Consider

• Time and Energy: Building and maintaining multiple core partnerships requires a significant commitment. Without strong boundaries and intentional time management, it could lead to burnout.

• Conflict Navigation: Balancing the needs and emotions of multiple partners can be complex, especially if there’s overlap in time or resources.

• Alignment of Expectations: Ensuring each partner understands their role and feels valued without comparison or competition is key.

Final Suggestion

I recommend an egalitarian polyamorous structure, where each relationship is honored for its unique role without enforcing strict hierarchies or predefined labels. This approach gives you flexibility to:

• Have multiple primary/core partners, regardless of whether you live with them or share finances.

• Foster deep, meaningful connections with additional loverships.

• Tailor each relationship to fit the needs and desires of all involved.

Let me know if you'd like to explore how to practically implement this structure or navigate potential challenges!

Photo by Niklas Hamann on Unsplash

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