Hi! I’m Ally Iseman
I’m a writer, ICF Certified Relationship Coach, and non-monogamy nerd. This is your first stop on the journey to building the relationship you want and deserve. Here we explore the good, the bad, and the funny about consensual non-monogamy.
This page offers a humorous and accessible way into the world of human behavior and communication. There are plenty of relationship coaches out there, and it can all feel so serious and so heavy - I’m not them. Here we find healing through humor.
What some of my current subscribers have to say…
We uncover the light in the dark so it can illuminate our path forward rather than remaining in the shadows of the past.
Here you will fall in love with the possibilities you didn’t even know existed. You will fall back in love with yourself, your partner, and your relationship — and you might actually, dare I say, ENJOY learning something new and unexpected!
If you’ve got 10 years to make mistakes and potentially risk losing it all, you can totally go on this journey on your own without any support. That’s what I did. Or you can invest in yourself and learn from me to save countless dollars, hours, and energy and mitigate the risks to build the relationship you deserve.
I learned everything the hard way so you don’t have to!
I have a select few brand partners that want to support your relationship journey as much as me. I never want you to feel advertised to so I only work with 3-5 brands that I already love and shop myself to make sure you have a curated selection of delights:
TLDR;
CRAVE — Use my code PASSPORT for $15 off your purchase of luxury pleasure jewelry and high end bedside toys.
NOMAD Travel — Home swap exclusively with others in the sex-positive Lifestyle and find venues to host your own sexy soirees around the world! Get a free night with my code NewUserP2P.
Arya — Use my code PASSPORT15 for 15% off your purchase of monthly intimacy boxes sensually curated for your unique relationship needs.
“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.”
―Thich Nhat Hanh
Whether you want to open up your relationship to include other people or you just want to open up more authentically to each other, I want you to open up without blowing up. This page explores the many benefits expansive relationship dynamics can have for ALL relationship models.
WARNING: This page may make you laugh and feel good while encouraging you to challenge the assumptions you’ve made about your relationship choices and inviting you to get curious through humor. You’ve been warned…
“Ally is an incredible guide. When my husband and I began exploring non-monogamy, she was instrumental in helping us navigate all the new terrain and uncertainty that comes along with it. Ally’s passion for working with the deeper levels of human experience is clear. I can’t recommend her highly enough.”
—Client: Lily M., married woman
Free subscribers have access to…
Occasional Relationship Edutainment | infotainment videos and/or written posts
Last Sunday — Office Hours | my inclusive relationship advice Livestream video chat [all subscribers can watch, only paid subs can join in the live comments]
My free content is a compilation of my decade of experience, training, and education — it will address some of your concerns and answer some of your questions. But your relation-trips are just as unique as you are and you deserve the private, customized attention you need to address your unique issues and level up your love life. Ready to invest in getting yourself the private support you need? Here are two ways to do that:
Now you can submit your personal questions for anonymous inclusion in my advice column Ask Ally or DM me privately. If you want more comprehensive private support…
Why pay for a subscription?
People literally pay for cans of air. Okay, okay, to be fair, they pay for the air to be compressed and packaged. So to use that metaphor… I compress over a decade’s worth of all the expensive risks you could take, the painful mistakes you could make, and the lessons you could learn the hard way yourself, into a timely, manageable, and powerful knowledge and experience database. And then I use my two decades of experience as a professional producer, television writer, and actor to put it in an entertaining and thought-provoking container called my Substack.
Paid subscribers receive all free content PLUS…
Only paid subscribers can:
leave comments on everything
read my advice column Ask Ally and submit their questions anonymously
engage with me and my guests on my Livestream videos
reach me directly via DM
start new conversations with me and the community via private chat
They also have access to my entire content database, including workshops and anything that goes into the publication archives. Shoot me a DM with all your burning relationship questions: I might answer them anonymously in my column, Ask Ally.
If you’re on board, then you’ve got two juicy options:
$20 a month gives you unlimited access to all of my posts new and archived including all of my workshops, the ability to leave comments on everything, and build community with each other in the chat and me via DMs.
$88 a year gets you everything that $8/mo gets you, but cheaper. Save 65% on a yearly subscription and commit to being here the whole year. Because being non-monogamous doesn’t mean you’re afraid of commitment, but it does mean you like to split the cost of things more than two ways.
Why $88? Check out the “polyamory heart” below.
Receiving your infinite love means the world to me. It enables me to keep doing what I was put on this earth to do: use my comedy writing and performing skills to expand the relationship conversation to include all relational dynamics. Because if we all have better relationships that last longer, we’ll have a better world that lasts longer. Thank you from the bottom of my infinite heart to the top of my limitless capacity for love.
Passport 2 Pleasure means two things to me. It’s a reference to the joy and delight that can be found around every door, whether that portal leads to the outer world, or our inward experience. It’s about holding the same sense of adventure and play regardless of which direction the journey is inviting us.
And it’s also a more tangible reference to the stamps we collect in our literal passports. The journey towards personal growth and relationship fulfillment isn’t one stop, there are lots of waypoints along this relation-trip. Some of which you’ll want to visit again and again, and some you’ll scrub from your Google Maps history the second you get back on good Wifi.
“A perfect guide to brave new worlds, Ally’s one-of-a-kind mix of spiritual wisdom, sassy humor, and empathetic connection gave my wife and I much of the inspiration, and more importantly, the tools, to navigate this complicated but rewarding lifestyle.”
—Client: Chris D., married man
Why Substack? Why now?
Don’t believe everything you see on TV or read in the media. Unless it’s me, definitely believe me! While popular media’s interest in diverse relationship dynamics has increased, it’s left much to be desired in coverage thus far, with much of it being skewed and touristy at best. Then there’s the censorship across social media.
I’m a writer and therefore a slut for the truth, so I want to make sure accurate, unfiltered information gets to you. I don’t want to wait for the sanitized approval of an external publisher to bring you the information you deserve and desire. And so I am compelled to join this platform where I can engage with you, speak freely, and answer your questions directly.
This page is meant to be both irreverent and informational. I think we’re all taking ourselves a bit too seriously these days and I don’t see any reason why we can’t learn and explore uncharted territory AND have a great time and laugh together along the way! We’re all a bit burned out on political over-correctness and holier-than-thou ‘influenzar’ culture so let’s have a little fun while we grow and make mistakes together.
In-flu-en-zar · noun
Someone who uses social media to spread misinformation like a virus.
Outside of working on my book—my high school English teach Mrs. Wright (not a joke) would be so proud—I offer a relationship advice column in the vein of Ask Amy, but instead of a staunchly mononormative and uninformed perspective, Ask Ally advises from a diverse relationship perspective inclusive of all relational dynamics.
This page is the groundwork, the first step towards landing that column in a mainstream publication and publishing that book. Your interactions with each other and me here will play a huge role in shaping both those projects and your non-monogamy journey. You’re in at the ground floor! Or should I say…on the first page?
Join the crew
Finding the right community can be the hardest part of this journey. Be part of a community of people who share your interest in the good, the bad, and the funny about relationship dynamics of all kinds, from the kinky to the everyday.
Eventually there will be a podcast, but my first goal is to continue building my advice column for you, so I can answer your real questions directly. Part relationship advice, part sharing my own journey as a single woman dating non-monogamously. Think Carrie Bradshaw but without the Aiden vs. Mr. Big showdown, because in my world I can be with both of them thanks to inclusive relationship dynamics!
Unlike Carrie Bradshaw, I’m not being paid $4/word by Vogue — your support is the only reason I can do what I do and offer you my unfiltered experience + expertise here.
I write for you and so I want to know what you need. The depth and breadth of the value I’m capable of bringing to this page is increased exponentially by the questions you bring to me. There is no shame here. Only curiosity.
About me
I am a comedy writer, relationship coach, and non-monogamy expert who has been featured as a subject matter expert in publications like Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, The New York Times, Romper, PureWow, Bored Panda, Kinkly, Yahoo! and more. I’m a contributing writer to Sexual Health Magazine and have been on countless podcasts extolling the benefits all relationships can have through an expansive relational model.
A former serial monogamist and recovering people pleaser, I teach busy couples on the brink how to build a bulletproof relationship that lasts. I do this by breaking down seemingly complex emotional entanglements into manageable, bite-sized nuggets and addressing them with real world, practical skills as an International Coaching Federation CRC (Certified Relationship Coach)-candidate and NCSF-registered KAP (Kink Aware Professional).
I blew up my last monogamous relationship when I tried to open it up in 2016, and I’ve spent my time since immersing myself in all things consensual non-monogamy, learning everything the hard way so you don’t have to!
“A rare find in this space where boilerplate tends to be the norm. Ally is a wealth of knowledge, but more than that, she pours her heart into what she does with Passport 2 Pleasure and that makes all the difference.”
—Client: Jessica, solo woman
Don’t be a tool, instead, use mine!
►CONVERSATION TEMPLATES:
How To Open Up Without Blowing Up
How To Close Your Open Relationship
► FREE DOWNLOAD: The Relationship Ratio
Find out if your relationship is ready to open up without blowing up
► Want to work together? Book a session package
Build a Bulletproof Relationship in 12 weeks without countless hours in therapy!
► Not sure where to begin? ENM 101: Exploring Healthy Non-Monogamy
My course breaks down all the basics to help you figure out your Ideal Relationship Structure and build your own Relationship Agreement.
What other clients and readers say
“The Relationship Agreement! We approach everything else in our lives with strategic intentions (work, fitness, education, etc.) and I feel that many of us grow up without having this same intention applied to our relationships.”
—TW, partnered man
“Being new to ENM, I think this is one of the most important things we can do at the start to make sure we are on the same page. This clarity will lead to freedom and trust… and therefore way more fun and intimacy!”
—EB, partnered woman
“The depth at which you spoke about your journey, what you look for and what the space means to you, was a really beautiful window into you.”
—Anonymous, partnered man
“Your content is always a reminder to stay mindful and practice healthy communication.”
—Anonymous, solo man
“You popping up in my suggestions is a freaking GIFT! I am beyond excited!”
—Anonymous, solo woman
To learn more about the work I do or to see if I can help you open up without blowing up, visit passport2pleasure.com.
