Open Dialogue: ADHD, HSPs, and ENM oh my!

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Open Dialogue is my recurring monthly Substack Live:

• Everyone can watch the live and engage with me, my guest(s), and each other in the live chat,

• Only paid Passport 2 Pleasure subscribers can access the full replay and leave questions and comments for us to respond to.¹

If you would like to support my work here on Passport 2 Pleasure, pleasure consider:

HSP & AHDH & ENM, oh my!

​This month’s Open Dialogue guest was Rachel Dorneanu, LPC, CST, BCC, an Atlanta-based individual and couples therapist specializing in anxiety, perfectionism, Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), and sex therapy. She helps “high-functioning but internally spiraling” adults build boundaries, heal shame, and experience pleasure without guilt. Rachel blends CBT, mindfulness, psychoeducation, and humor to make deep work feel approachable.

In this conversation, we talked about what happens when Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) identify as “neurospicy” — ADHD, sensory sensitivity, anxiety, or simply a nervous system that feels everything deeply — and how that impacts sex, desire, shame, and pleasure. We’ll unpack overstimulation, performance anxiety, people-pleasing in the bedroom, and how sensitive nervous systems can actually become superpowers in intimacy and open relationships.

To work with Rachel in a therapeutic context in either Georgia, South Carolina, Florida, or Vermont:

To work with Rachel in a coaching capacity (including helping professionals, practitioners, and other therapists):

In this episode we explored topics like:

1. When you say “neurospicy HSP,” what do you mean?

2. How does being highly sensitive impact pleasure?

3. Do you see perfectionism show up sexually?

4. What about ADHD and desire?

5. How does people-pleasing show up in the bedroom?

6. What role does shame play?

7. How can neurospicy HSPs create more safety during intimacy?

8. What’s the biggest reframe you offer sensitive clients?

9. If someone feels “too much” sexually, what would you tell them?

10. What can kink/BDSM offer to neurospicy or HSP folks?

We want to hear from you:

1. What feels harder for you—giving or receiving pleasure? Staying focused in the experience? Communicating what you need to regulate?

2. On a scale of 1–10, how confident do you feel in your physical intimacy skills right now? What would make it one point higher?

3. What questions do you have about ADHD, AuDHD, HSP, or any other neurospicy acronyms and how it might show up in your love, sex, dating, or relating?

4. Feel free to share with the community any tools or tips that you’ve learned.

The comments are a subscriber-only space; that’s part of what makes them one of those rare feel-good places in the digital world. This AI (Ally Iseman) is committed to conversations where we lift each other up. We’ve learned how to talk to each other about stuff that matters in respectful, curiosity-led ways, even if it’s uncomfortable. If you’d like to join the discussion, subscribe below.

If you didn’t get to ask your question in the Live, or you thought of something else, please don’t hesitate to drop it in the comments. I read them all. And don’t be afraid to respectfully and curiously engage with each other in the comments as well. This is meant to be a conversation where we can all learn from each other!

Open Dialogue

This recurring hourlong Substack Live series is part interview, part conversation, part Ask Me Anything (AMA) and is the quickest, easiest way to get your sex, love, and modern relationship questions answered by me, live on your screen*, without applying for private coaching.

Monthly group guidance sessions with an ICF Certified Relationship Coach specializing in consensual non-monogamy for only $20/month or $88/year?

Not too shabby.

Get the tools and skills you need to build the love, sex, and relation-trip of your dreams, not someone else’s.

⚫️ The last Sunday of every month at 10am PT / 1pm ET / 6pm GMT.

Everyone can tune in and watch live, but only paid subscribers can interact with me and my guest(s) in the live Chat, watch the full replay, and leave Comments.

*You will need to have the Substack app to tune into my live videos and you must have push notifications turned on so that you receive a notification when I go live.

About me:

» I work with successful and highly-impactful couples and individuals who want to turn burnout into burning desire in their love, sex, dating, and relationships.

• award-winning screenwriter working on my first book,

• ICF Certified Relationship Coach and NCSF-registered KAP (Kink Aware Professional) specializing in Modern Relationship Design,

• founder of the global platform Passport2Pleasure.com,

• non-executive director on numerous advisory boards for various sexual+relational wellness brands like ProDX Health STI test kits + NOMAD Lifestyle Travel Groups,

• sought after podcast guest on the topics of love, sex, modern relationships, play parties, and consent and communication,

• featured expert for platforms and publications like LADbible, The New York Times, HuffPost, Cosmo, Well+Good, Grazia, POPSUGAR, AskMen, +more,

• contributing writer and educator for the leading industry publication Sexual Health Magazine and brands like Arya and afterglow.

Basically, I don’t fuck around when it comes to fucking around! »Subscribe here

—Ally💗

1. This month’s replay is available to everyone, not just paid subscribers, because we had some technical difficulties. A lot of people were taken to a page stating the live had already ended (see below image) when they clicked on the link to join the live. This was incorrect, but understandably may have caused quite a number of people to erroneously think they missed it when, in fact, it was still happening. Because of this, I want to make sure the replay is available to anyone and everyone, something that is usually only reserved for monthly or annual paid subscribers of Passport 2 Pleasure.

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